In a forest clearing two medieval knights on horseback with raised lances are waiting to begin battle. They will dual to protect the honour of a young maiden. They are following the code of chivalry associated with knightly virtues, honour and courtly love. This is what they do. And who knows, one may also win the heart of the maiden, for this is the idealised chivalrous act of a strong man protecting and fighting for a woman.

Roll forward a few centuries to a wine bar in a city centre. An alcohol fuelled dispute erupts between a man and his female friend. As their voices rise people begin to notice. Other men begin to notice. Does one step in? Unlikely, as the woman is giving as good as she gets and more. She walks away triumphant. So much for a damsel in distress. So much for chivalry. That's it then is it? Different centuries, different ideals, no space or place for the chivalrous action?

Who better to ask than the actor Adrian Lukas, best known for seeing chivalry from the other side playing characters such as the distinctly unchivalrous Mr Wickham opposite Colin Firth's Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Encouragingly he says, "I think chivalry still does exist." However, he's hard pressed to really come up with concrete examples. He acknowledges, "It's rare to find a man who stands up in a train to give up a seat. It's the feminist legacy of being equal. Women are seen as perfectly capable of standing on their own two feet." And he believes, "We are a thousand miles from where we were in the 60's in term of manners."

"The chivalrous man is not a dying breed, he is extinct."
Claire Nunes

It was the 60's and decades before when young girls dreamt of their knight in shining armour. It was an ideal to aspire to. Someone who would sweep you off your feet in a whirlwind of romantic love and provide and care for you. Then came feminism. But think about it. Feminism, put simply, is women achieving equality. It didn't ever say men needed to give up their respect towards women, or even stop opening doors for them. However, for many that was exactly what it meant. Claire Nunes, a solicitor who was a teenager during the early days of feminism, thinks 'the chivalrous man is not a dying breed, he is extinct'. For her feminism was the nail in the coffin of chivalry. She says, "I do occasionally get the odd door held open for me, but as often by a woman as a man. I think equality killed it off over a period of many years. I'm not sure it is necessarily a bad thing, as with chivalry might come a sense that somehow we are the weaker sex, which of course is not true." And when it comes to doors held open and seats offered, PR consultant Sue Foster says, "Maybe you can't have everything. Girl power rules."

Speak to people about chivalry and there's still confusion over what it really is. Originally relating to medieval knights, it came from the French word chevalier, as in someone who rides a horse. Then it was clear cut. Men fought in battle and were courageous. Chivalry was protecting the weak and poor, displaying valour and fairness. A knight was seen to be gentle and gracious and served his lady. If chivalry has moved through the centuries has it brought any of those values with it? Sofie Coogan, a child of the late seventies thinks not. She says, "If chivalry existed today I don't think programmes like Sex and the City would have been written or been such a big success. I would like to believe in it but fear it may only be in dreamland nowadays."

Maybe chivalry can only exist in a simpler world. One unlike today with its media overload displaying everything with no censorship. When anything goes how important are the basic values anymore? Writer Gill Price says, "So many people are rude, aggressive and have no thought or consideration for others. It does make me sad and concerned for the future. Chivalry – I can't think when I last used that word." And as Lukas adds, "I think manners have taken a battering. I suppose the very notion of womanhood has taken a battering as women can be seen to be just as corrupt and aggressive as men these days."

"If chivalry existed today I don't think programmes like Sex and the City would have been written or such a big success."
Sophie Coogan

If chivalry can survive or even be reinvented it will take both men and women to engage with it. But take heart. There are chivalrous knights around still. Take for example the taxi driver I stopped when I was running to an appointment. Would it be quicker to take a cab or the tube I asked? Tube he replied. As I was sprinting down the road he pulled up alongside me, offered to drive me the short distance and then refused the fare. Or how about the story of Lukas's grandparents? He says, "After the war my grandfather returned and was staying with a friend and met my grandmother. He quickly proposed and was accepted. But he had to go to Darjeeling to manage a tea estate. He couldn't take her because it wasn't fit, there was nowhere for her to live. She waited five years and spent three months travelling there. I suppose one could say there is something chivalrous in his desire for her to be looked after properly." The result they spent 25 happy years there.

People polled on their thoughts about chivalry all mentioned they felt if it does exist today it's only with the older generation. A few said some young men hold open doors, but in general the concept isn't understood. Maybe in the month of hearts and flowers it's time to revisit some of those 'old' values and being a smile to a few wintry faces.

By Michele Nevard