By Michele Nevard

Our mothers, and certainly grandmothers, lived in a different world where being a wife and parent was the main aim. Careers were secondary. Now it’s different. But, while women have embraced the workplace, others haven’t necessarily caught up. Life remains divided on many levels and no more so than in the working world.

Take two scenarios. A young city broker leaves work. He heads to a wine bar with colleagues. They eat and drink until the early hours. Maybe they catch a club later. Arriving at his desk next morning he’s only slept a few hours. But that’s fine, because he’s a lad who’s recognised as working and partying hard.

Contrast that with a young city executive who’s six months pregnant. She arrives home to her three year old. By nine pm she finally puts her feet up. She’s done the domestics, taken care of her son, planned tomorrow’s wardrobe and caught up with her husband’s news. When she’s tired at work the next day it’s put down to her pregnancy, and after all soon she’ll be on maternity leave, so she’s coasting to the birth. 

“Most of the women I coach need self-esteem work, and it’s not unique to women. But, men are taught from an early age to manage their lack of self-esteem and not to show it in the work place.”

These are stereotypes, but inside them is a grain of truth. And how women negotiate themselves in the workplace today has never been more relevant.

Birthe Mester, managing director for business development at the Centre for High Performance Development, (CHPD), believes that to ‘create a level playing field’ it’s necessary to look at a number of factors. One of Birthe’s responsibilities is their Women into Leadership programme. And CHPD draws on 20 years of research with partners such as the London Business School and Princeton University, with a database of over 3,000 leadership profiles. Mester says, “There need to be structures conducive for women, such as flexible working and childcare.” She also acknowledges, “Women are good at getting on with the job, but not necessarily at promoting themselves.” So, for instance, she cites a number of examples as to why women don’t achieve their full potential at work. She says, “There’s a lack of women role models, so it’s a catch-22, and there’s quite a bit of isolation with ‘boys clubs’ preventing building relationships. Also there are stereotypes and preconceptions of what women want, such as family rather than career.” However, the reality is, women often want both and this can create difficulties.

Gurvinder Gregson, a young mother working part-time since having her son, comments, “People say, gosh, look at her. She wants it all. But it doesn’t seem a lot to ask.” Gregson was a highly qualified interface and graphic designer who was made redundant after maternity leave. She was unable to find part-time work in her old career and has subsequently found work, three days a week, as events officer at VSO, (Voluntary Service Overseas). She believes it’s easier for women to find part-time work in the not-for-profit sector as generally they’re more accommodating around childcare issues. Gregson says, “I’ve actually toned down my CV. If I said everything I’d done it would work against me.”

Part-time work is often seen as the domain of working mothers. Nicolette Jones, author and freelance journalist, says, “I remember somebody saying to me, do you work part-time now you have children?” She says, “I also feel very strongly that there’s an assumption made when women are with kids it’s time-out of work. I think we should recognise anyone doing all that has huge organisational skills. It ought to be at the top of people’s CV’s.” Gregson agrees. She says, “I think women are equipped in so many ways that contribute well to many types of business. You need women in the workplace, it’s a major contribution.”

But in order to navigate successfully within the work environment women have to make changes, along with organisations. Mester says, “There has to be the will and structure with organisations and individuals to change the mindset and behaviours. It’s knowing yourself inside out, knowing your strengths and letting people know.” She sees that women ‘don’t beat their drum’. So being successful is about exposure, image, how one’s perceived and communicating that to the people who matter. Because, in say a large organisation, it’s only those who stand up to get noticed that make their mark.

However, it needs more than a few token women to change things. Because as executive coach and trainer Jill McCulloch says, “There’s so much fear in the corporate world. So many women are challenged at how cold it is, the lack of warmth, loyalty and genuine relationships. A lot of women in the corporate world find it very lonely at the top.” She says, “Many corporate women have closed off emotionally.”

Bringing emotions in to the workplace is not viewed as a positive thing. That’s to say, the so-called ‘feminine’ emotions. Take the example of a woman, a top theatre administrator, in a particularly crucial board meeting. This was the culmination of many months of difficulties in the company. Her frustrations boiled over and she cried. At that point she knew she’d lost her credibility. Later she wondered if she’d have ranted angrily, as a man may have done, the outcome would have been the same. It’s speculation but neatly illustrates the point.

McCulloch, who works with large organisations such as Carl Zeiss and Yellow Pages, says, “Most of the women I coach need self-esteem work, and it’s not unique to women. But, men are taught from an early age to manage their lack of self-esteem and not to show it in the work place.” She also believes ‘not being taken seriously’ is an issue which she has first hand experience of. When she and her brother ran a very successful manufacturing company, people would naturally go to him first. As she says, “People are so pre-programmed, it’s unbelievable.”

The picture isn’t all bleak for working women juggling busy lives, but there are obstacles. Not least is the issue of guilty feelings when children are left with child minders. Gregson says she would tell her son she was going out to earn money to buy him Mr Men books. So it was particularly poignant when he said to her, “We don’t need pennies today.”

And Jones says, “I used to get up at 5am to write before school because then I didn’t have to worry about the children.”

Mester believes organisations are missing out when they don’t embrace women’s skills and McCulloch says, “The best thing would be women supporting other women and not competing with them.” It’s clearly a hard journey to the top but with more awareness it should become easier. In fact Mester says, “There have been significant changes over the last two to three years.”

Perhaps we should all wish for a boss like the particularly sympathetic newspaper editor Jones worked for at the Independent on Sunday. She acknowledges in general ‘newspaper offices are not very sympathetic places for pregnant women’. However, he excelled, allowing her to have a lie down in his office in the lunch hour. When he returned she was fast asleep and he didn’t even bat an eyelid.

Useful links

Centre for High Performance Development (CHPD) – www.chpd.com

Jill McCulloch – www.coachyou.co.uk

Nicolette Jones’ book, The Plimsoll Sensation: The Great Campaign to Save Lives at Sea was published in paperback 3 May 2007.